Bunny Ramblings

As Sir mentioned in his post, things are very busy for us at the moment. Sir is sitting his university exams at the moment, and the day he finishes his, I start mine. We are pretty stressed at the moment, but I think it's important to keep things in perspective and focus on some good things.


Despite being very busy, we are able to see one another every weekend. Being in the physical presence of one another, even if we are still doing a lot of work, is very comforting. Sex and the ability to touch Sir whenever I want relieves a lot of stress. 


Although revision is tough, we are in a very good position from working consistently throughout the year. 


These exams are not as important as they first appear. We are already at very prestigious universities. For me in particular, it would be very hard not to get a decent degree. Had we messed up on the exams to get into university, we would not have gotten into the top 50 universities in the country, let alone the very top institutions. We have already taken the most important exams of our lives.


More broadly, we are very lucky to have one another. I could not have imagined moving from an all-girls' school to a predominantly male one for my last two years of secondary education that I would meet the person I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I did want to date and I had a vague plan of losing my virginity before I got to college but falling in love was really unexpected. Now over three years later we are still in love, still best friends and we have successfully navigated a long-distance relationship without too much stress.


We are lucky to be in good financial shape at the moment. Our parents have been particularly generous to us, and although we live pretty frugally, we don't have to worry about whether we will manage to pay bills or rent on time, or if it's feasible to see one another every weekend. 


Our families are doing well and support us. I am particularly grateful for my two nieces who live nearby. The older one is in pre-school and she is a bright, sensible, happy child who really loves her cuddly toys and idolises her father. The younger one is coming up to her first birthday, and is an extremely fat child who looks permanently surprised. Both of them do lots of funny things and I am very proud of them.


So all in all things are not as bad as they seem. There is a lot to be grateful for. 

Posted in: on Thursday, 24 May 2012 at at 10:23 0 comments  

I am very busy at the moment. I am right in the middle of a set of very important exams, and they are taking up a lot of my time, particularly over last week and the next week. They are not only taking up a lot of time, but also a lot of my energy, and I am unable to keep up with things I would much rather be doing than revision, but it is important that I am working hard at the moment.


I feel very guilty at the moment, especially given we have just come through a difficult time in our relationship where I wasn't giving it enough effort or time. I brought in a few measures to help with that, but it has been difficult to keep up with them and I have had other things on my mind, although I have found myself being more aware of my bunny's needs, even if it has not really been feasible to meet them quite as she would like a lot of the time. Maybe it is a good sign that I am aware of the problem and that I am feeling guilty, but I feel I am not being very good to my bunny at the moment.


This is only temporary, however, and by the weekend (and most of the time after that) I should hopefully have more time and effort for my bunny, which will be especially good given she will be entering a difficult period with her exams. That will be a time when she will probably need the support and structure I can provide, but hopefully I can make her feel more loved and give her more of the attention she needs this weekend, before she gets to her most stressful period.


This will require a big effort, as I still have lots of work to be doing, but I will have slightly less than I have had over the past week or two, so it is important that I take this opportunity to try to make it up to my bunny. Luckily this is only temporary and will still be over soon, but I still do not like it that I have been neglecting my bunny's needs again, even if this time it is for a better reason.

Posted in: on Wednesday, 23 May 2012 at at 22:15 0 comments  

Something I'd really like to do is have Sir take me by force. As my Master, Sir has the right to use me whenever he wants to and how he wants to, but this doesn't usually come across as force because I want to have sex just as much. On the rare occasion I don't want sex I have to tell him this to be honest, and then it's his choice whether or not to proceed. 


But we rarely use physical force during sex. Sometimes I will pretend to fight back a little against him and I love feeling how much stronger he is and how useless fighting is. 


But we're never done a scene where I was struggling as hard as I could while he took me. The fantasy is very hot to me, to be taken and used, and then slowly surrendering to it even though I don't want to.


My main turn-on is brainwashing. I don't just enjoy doing what Sir asks me to do, I enjoy the mindfuck of growing to want it myself. By which I mean, I love it when Sir decides we're going to do an activity that I initially don't like, but over time I enjoy it and crave it because he loves it. So for example I didn't initially enjoy being taken in the spooning position at all; I find it physically uncomfortable. But over time I got used to the idea that Sir could take me in whatever position he wanted, and now I love it. I love the feeling of being moulded into what he wants. 


So part of the appeal would obviously be his physical domination of me. But another big part would be that no matter how hard I fight it, I would eventually succumb to loving it, and Sir would humiliate me with this knowledge. I'd be refusing to kiss him one minute and begging for him to touch me the next. 


The reality is that that sort of play would not be particularly safe for us. Sir weighs over fifty pounds more than me and is a lot stronger, but he isn't trained at all in any kind of self-defence or martial arts or anything like that. He doesn't know how to restrain me properly. Now, I'm not saying that this means I have a fighting chance. He could still easily overpower me. But I could easily land the odd kick or bite him or pull his hair or something like that if I were truly fighting as hard as I could. Moreover, in his efforts to restrain me, he might put too much of his weight or hurt me by twisting something. 


I guess some sort of compromise could be worked out whereby I start trying to fight once I am tied up and already safely restrained so no harm can come to him or me. And I do enjoy our mini-struggles. No matter how hot the fantasy is, I have to accept that safety comes first (and also that it's not for me to decide). 

Posted in: on Tuesday, 22 May 2012 at at 20:14 0 comments  

I think that the vast majority of women (and men, come to that) wish they were better-looking. Most people have some days when they feel like they're ugly, and feel dispirited by that. Most people aren't beauties. We shouldn't care about this - but often we do. We feel that our lives would be improved by being beautiful. 


I'm not sure this is the case. I know there is something of the Samantha Brick to this blog post, but I think that many beautiful people do suffer because they are thought to be stupid. I know one woman with a really large natural bust, and she can't wear anything but the most conservative clothing without being thought of as a slut. 


But on a deeper level, I find it sad that we really think of beauty as an asset, as something to aspire to be. If I were a beautiful person, I might find lots of men were attracted to me - but I guess that a lot of them would only be interested in me for my looks. All these models married to rich, successful men - what happens when then they age and lose their looks? Yes, I want Sir to find me beautiful - but if I really thought that was a factor in why he wanted to stay with me, I'd find it really depressing. 


My looks aren't part of who I am. They're what I was born with, and a product of the age I am currently. They don't make me clever, they don't reveal my passions, they don't make me a good person. They don't even make me good in bed. 


It's interesting that when people write about romantic encounters nowadays they often talk about how when they first saw their future partner, they were awed by their beauty. It's really an odd thing to say if you think about it. Jane Eyre meanwhile makes a big deal out of the fact that Jane does not view Mr Rochester as handsome, and she is made uncomfortable by him trying to make her beautiful. She realises that it is not at all important. And that's a healthy attitude to have.

Posted in: on Sunday, 20 May 2012 at at 20:36 0 comments  

I haven't posted about what we have been up to for a while, so I will give an update of what has happened in the past week. We have both been very busy with lots of work to do, but we have still managed to get in quite a lot of time together.


We managed to make some time to do some online training. I got my bunny to masturbate for me on webcam, although this was so I could have more control over her rather than specifically to watch her. This was so that we could do some cumming on demand training. It had been quite a while since we had done any, so this session was primarily to work out where my bunny was at with it. As it turned out, I was a bit ambitious at first. I tried to get my bunny to stop when she got to the edge, wait 30 seconds, and then try to cum on my demand, but unfortunately she was unable to do this. This was not her fault; it was just a product of us not doing any training for a while. Eventually I gave my bunny a 5 minute deadline within which to cum, which she managed, so that was a good achievement given the previous difficulties with my unrealistic goals, and gives us a good platform to continue more training in this area.


At the weekend, I went to see my bunny and was able to get to her earlier than normal, so we spent more time together. When I arrived, I noticed my bunny was dressed very nicely, showing off her figure and wearing lipstick, which is rare. As it turned out, she had a very nice surprise in store for me. She asked me to sit on the bed when we got to her room, and then started kissing me very passionately, before turning on some music and doing a striptease for me. Apparently I was looking impatient during the striptease, but I can only assume that this was impatience to get my bunny in my arms, as it was a very nice surprise, a very seductive striptease and it had been a long time since I had seen her.


The striptease inevitably ended in us having sex, and we were able to have sex three times over the weekend, which was good. The sex was generally very good, with one time involving some dirty talk from me. i do not normally want to talk dirty to my bunny, but for some reason I was feeling very passionate and like I wanted to do that, so I did, and I think she enjoyed it a lot. We also tried a slightly different doggy-style position with my legs in front of hers, to give extra penetration, which was quite intense for my bunny.


We also did more vanilla, couple things, such as food shopping, working, watching TV together and talking, and they are always very enjoyable too. It was nice to be able to spend a lot of time with my bunny, and now I am looking forward to the summer when we should be able to spend a lot more time together and less to do when we are together as well.

Posted in: on Thursday, 17 May 2012 at at 17:40 0 comments  

I thought that seeing as this book has received such widespread coverage I would give my thoughts on it, but with the vague assumption that most people reading this will have read it or at least heard of it. Massive spoilers.

Posted in: on Thursday, 10 May 2012 at at 14:30 0 comments  

Last weekend we had really good sex, but we still only managed to have sex twice. As we only get to see each other at weekends, this is the only sex we get for the week, which doesn't seem like very much, but is as much as we can realistically fit in given our circumstances. This prompted my bunny to ask if we had enough sex, which has in turn prompted this post.


We generally both get a lot out of sex, both physically and emotionally, so I think both of us would want more if that was possible. That said, it is an interesting question as to what is more important to us: whether we have good sex or whether we can have more sex? There are a number of arguments in favour of both of these options, but overall, which one would I take given the choice?


First of all, us having good sex makes us really want each other sexually. I would be attracted to my bunny even if we didn't have the great sex we do, but it adds some extra lust and passion to our relationship when we both really enjoy and want sex. Also, because of how powerfully my bunny can orgasm sometimes, and the intensity of our sex, afterwards she goes into a very submissive frame of mind, and can even be unable to communicate or move. This puts her in a vulnerable position and she needs lots of looking after, even as she starts to regain her abilities, which gives me a great chance to do just that and I enjoy it a lot. Finally, it is hard to quantify, but I think the fact we have such enjoyable sex also strengthens the emotional bond between us and has helped our relationship grow over time.


On the other hand, given the sex is so good, it leaves us wanting more and can leave my bunny in particular feeling like something is missing when we are unable to have sex. I also experience this, but given the effects I have described above I think it has a slightly larger impact on my bunny. If we were able to have sex more frequently we would be able to feel the strong emotional and physical attachment and pleasure it brings more often, and this might strengthen our bond further. We also might find that there are other benefits to more regular sex, or other dimensions that are created, such as it becoming regular service my bunny gives me, or something else.


Overall, however, I think it is more important for us that we continue to have good sex rather than more sex (although hopefully in the future we can have both). I think us having great sex brings more benefits when taken on its own compared to having lots of sex. If we had lots of sex but it wasn't very good, I do not think that would be a very good situation for our relationship, yet we manage OK now having great sex a couple of times a week, which I think indicates the importance to us of having good sex over having lots of sex.

Posted in: on Wednesday, 9 May 2012 at at 18:30 0 comments