Bunny Ramblings

I don't think Sir and I would ever go back to being vanilla in our relationship. I think we've gone too far with it; it's become how we relate to one another and trust each other. I think if something were to happen by which I couldn't trust him to be my Master, I couldn't go back to having him as my boyfriend.


If something were to happen to Sir or if we were to break up, I would hope that I would eventually be able to move on and be with someone else. I don't believe in soul mates; I believe I could have been happy with someone else. There are certain qualities that I would look for in a partner, but a relationship is something that you build together not something based on perfect compatibility. 


I don't think I could be happy long-term without someone looking after me and taking control of me. I think I would be fine in terms of getting on with my life, but in terms of being happy in the relationship, I just couldn't bear the constant re-negotiation of power. I need the roles to be clear and I need to be looked after to feel happy and intimate.


I think I could manage without having any kink in my life. I mean, to be honest, we're not very kinky at the moment. I love being spanked, I love nipple clamps, I love dominant sex, but I don't need them to be happy.


The main problem I have is that I am attracted to and need a dominant man, but I would not want to submit to them until I trusted them and loved them. I think that would become an issue for me on a BDSM dating site, where I would want to be treated as a vanilla equal for some time. 


With Sir, I always knew that I wanted to be submissive in some way, and then I gradually introduced Sir to my desires. At that point I thought my attraction to BDSM was only sexual, and we learnt about it and adapted to it together. I guess I could meet people in a vanilla setting and then let them know about my BDSM desires, but that seems like it has quite a high risk factor of people not being into BDSM, and also a bit sneaky of me to not be upfront about something that is so important to me. 


So the answer is no, I don't think I could ever be happy in a vanilla relationship again. I would always want to interact with my partner on a D/s, if not M/s basis, but I could live without kink. However, I think that my personal preferences for sexual and submissive intimacy would make it very hard to find a partner who was suited to me. So let's hope that Sir and I stay together!

Posted in: on Thursday, 23 February 2012 at at 17:27