Aroused by denial
According to my mantra, I want to do whatever Sir wants me to do. Now, I accept that this has a great many caveats. I of course have my own desires and wants separate from Sir, which is healthy and normal. I also distinctly do not want to do some things he wants me to do, like getting out of bed in the morning.
But sexually this does seem to be the case. I want to be controlled, and it doesn't really matter to me what form that control takes. In addition, if Sir wants something in particular, over time I often seem to get brainwashed into really liking it as well.
This desire for control has recently more overtly extended itself to being denied. I've somehow re-worked absence of something I like doing with him exerting his control over me. The last few times we've had sex there hasn't been any foreplay for me. No oral sex, no nipple clamps, no play. Just a few brief touches to make sure I was wet enough and then straight into sex.
Now, I enjoy oral sex and I definitely love nipple clamps. But in my mind I also get really turned on by him not giving me what I want, and just using me. Of course sometimes he does want to do those things, and he does them, but their absence is somehow a particularly depraved turn on.
I think this fits in with my relatively recent cuckquean fetish. This is where a wife is humiliated and denied sex by the husband because he's fucking other women. For some reason, male cuckolding is a lot more popular than female cuckolding, but there are still some stories available.
Here are a couple of ones I like:
Quean for a Day
Cuckolded Humiliated Sub Girl
This is all fantasy of course. I really really really don't want Sir to do this in real life. I'm a bit nervous to bring it up; I'm kind of ashamed that I have this fetish because I don't understand it much. I guess it's to do with enjoying being denied and just used as Sir sees fit. I don't think Sir will do this to me (I really hope not) but the idea that he could and that he does have the right to do so also turns me on.
Posted in: on Thursday, 1 March 2012 at at 23:52
